Be the pilot.

Dogs are happiest and most confident when provided the gentle leadership they crave. They are sensitive, intelligent creatures capable of wonderful and amazing things, but they need our guidance to navigate the world successfully. Earn your dog's trust by consistently giving them clear, concise information and direction. This will allow them to remain calm and confident even in stressful or exciting situations.

This critical element of our relationships with our dogs is comparable to that between an airline flight crew and their passengers. When traveling by plane, we trust the pilot to know when it is safe to get up and stretch our legs and when to stay seated with our seatbelts fastened. They earn our confidence with clear communication and consistent expectations. As a result, we readily comply when the fasten seatbelt signal is illuminated. That trust is built on several things, but chief among them is the relationship the flight crew develops with passengers, beginning with the boarding process.

The consistency and predictability of the pre-flight announcements set the passengers at ease and inspire confidence in the pilot and flight crew. The repetition of basic information like where the exits and flotation devices are, how to use the seatbelt, and how to put on an oxygen mask makes it more likely that passengers will be able to follow instructions from the crew in the event of an emergency. Likewise, when the plane hits unexpected turbulence, passengers remain confident that the pilot will handle the situation, and all they must do is remain safely secured in their seats.

Strive to develop the same dynamic in your relationship with your dog. Your dog should be allowed to "move freely about the cabin" until you turn on the fasten seatbelt sign by giving a command. If you have earned your dog's trust, they will heel, stay, or come when called, even when presented with the turbulence of another dog, a loud noise, or any other trigger or distraction.

Many of my clients have struggled to train their dogs because while they shower them with treats, love, and affection, they have failed to provide the necessary structure and leadership. Without clarity on their role in the relationship, many dogs believe they are in seat 3A while their owner is in seat 3B. This arrangement works well until turbulence scares or excites the dog, and they panic or run into the cockpit to fly the plane. By teaching your dog to respond to a few basic commands and providing them with the consistency and predictability they need, you can build their trust in you. Once you have earned your dog's trust, they will happily fasten their seatbelt and let you fly the plane through turbulence. Your dog can fly first class, but you should be the pilot.